9.1.07

reasons why the ladies' restroom at work is my least favorite type of room

1) honestly. there are plenty of semi-private places to have a mobile phone conversation. the handicapped stall in the ladies' room is never the answer. especially so because I would hate to interrupt your conversation about Tarniqua and her baby-daddy with my flushing.

2) the woman who's always in there at 9:15. She's audibly distressed by her morning goings-on. for the sake of us all, see your doctor. that's not normal.

3) simple rule. if you make a mess, clean it up. No one wants to walk on toilet paper, used hand towels, and I'm not even going to mention what else I find when I walk in there.

4) flushing. it's not a new concept. my guess is you do it at home. why is it problematic in the workplace?

5) speaking of flushing, automated toilets. I personally do not want the toilet to flush on it's own accord. I like to be in charge of that. call me crazy. or at least call me not-a-fan of getting a wet behind when the toilet spontaneously flushes. I am an American. I'm not used to that.

6) automated sinks that don't turn on. automated towels that don't come out. It's just a bathroom. Why all the fancy-smarmyness?

7) stop. putting. your. makeup. on. in. the. restroom. Listen here: it's OK to touch up your lipstick. Or dab on some powder, or whatever. I'm on the girl train with the rest of you. But please don't: pluck your eyebrows, pop pimples, curl eyelashes, apply beauty cream, take out your hot rollers, in the ladies' room at work. It's weird. The rest of us show up (at least mostly) dressed and (generally) properly groomed for the workday. Why do you get special priviledges?

8) Most of us aren't interested in breathing your perfume and/or hairspray fumes when we need to pee. Stop spraying that stuff in public. If I wanted to smell like Jean Nate and Aquanet, I'd have doused myself with it before I left the house (see #7).

9) The doorway of the ladies' room is not the place to discuss Jennifer's promotion, Andrew's performance review, the latest STR report, or which administrative assistant is giving hummers under who's desks. This stuff should be discussed in HR, or at least behind a closed door you don't *think* someone else is going to walk into. Chances of a random stranger overhearing you in the restroom = real damn good.

10) Public restroom toilet paper. 'Nuff said.

1 comment:

j said...

today, at the VA medical center (don't ask) an automatic toilet scared the bajesus out of me by making a high pitched squealing noise that convinced me there was an animal in the room with me. luckily, it was one of those one-person bathroooms, so nobody witnessed me jumping in the air gasping "oh my god!"

p.s. i am all about comments today.