a million ways...

...or, at least 100 things about me (per Diana's challenge.)

1. I believe the color orange is not only the most beautiful color on the planet, but also the color that most closely represents my personality.

2. I started drinking coffee with my dad when I was about 14; he’d make a pot of truck-stop coffee Saturday mornings in the fall before he went out duck-hunting. I started drinking it with him, and never really stopped.

3. I want to watch 100 movies this winter (I have some catching up to do.)

4. I’m really afraid I’ll end up all alone.

5. Thinking about going to the post office gives me a bit of an upset stomach.

6. My eyes turn more green when I’m really mad, or really passionate. They are most green when I’m acting on-stage.

7. I’m dying to join a church choir.

8. My grandma Sharon is my biggest hero. She raised 3 boys, found love again after her first husband died tragically, leaving her alone with a 4-month-old son. She gave everything she had to raise 3 strong, funny, kind, wonderful men. She worries too much, just like Dad, and just like me. She loves books and the peace of the lake. And she’s so, so smart in ways I can never hope to be.

9. I am a paper and pen snob. I only like to write on quadrille paper, and prefer pens in this order: a) ultra-fine point sharpie, in any color b) fountain pen with blue ink c)flair pen in green or blue.

10. I lose, and find, and lose myself again, in almost all forms of music.

11. I think my ability to see relationships within a greater system of relationships, and having the intuition to sense how the entire system is balanced (the fantastically verbose Germans call this Gemeinschaftsgefuhl, or community feeling), is the best thing I bring to my relationships.

12. I am utterly reliant on my cell phone and iPod. I have no idea what I’d do without gadgets.

13. My hips are not perfect, in a Western-fashion sort of way. But I think they are lovely anyway.

14. I was always super-jealous of how beautiful my Aunt Eileen (Muffi) is. I so very badly wanted to be her most of my formative years.

15. Balance is probably the single biggest driving goal (and challenge) in my life.

16. I cannot eat lemon drops.

17. I love wearing dresses and skirts.

18. Most days, I feel like I am one of the few people in the world who wake up, Monday-Friday, and have at least some sort of happiness about going to work. I mean, sometimes work does suck… but I love the work I do.

19. I have one rule in life: create something beautiful every day.

20. When I was little, I wanted to be the first female artist-astronaut. I was going to paint fantastic modern art in space and then sell these masterpieces back on earth for exorbitant wads of cash.

21. I love it when I get my hair done, and the stylist washes my hair. It’s one of the most relaxing things on the planet.

22. One of my most treasured possessions is the cookbook my mom compiled for me with all the family recipes in it, back in 1999. I would run back into a burning house to save it.

23. I don’t drink enough water, but I surely try.

24. I am notoriously bad at remembering to take pills, but I can memorize phone numbers in about 6 seconds.

25. I desperately want people to like me.

26. Pickles are my favorite food. I have been known to take down a half-jar of Clausens for dinner at regular intervals.

27. I would go to school forever if I didn’t have to pay for it.

28. When I was a 6^th grader, I got a snail from school. I kept it in my closet in a mayonnaise jar, til it died and started stinking. I didn’t want my mom to know I had killed a snail, so I just threw the jar, stinky snail and all, out my 2^nd-story window. My step dad was so confused as to how a mayonnaise jar got in the gutters that fall. I never told them.

29. I fell in love with rock and roll when I was 10 years old. I heard the bass guitar line to With or Without You. Rock and roll is my longest-running love affair.

30. Dishonesty, selfishness, and manipulation are very likely the only 3 things that would make me turn my back on someone I loved.

31. A little part of me still wants to be Cinderella.

32. I think graffiti is one of the most beautiful art forms on the planet. I love the subversive, the urban, and the art all rolled into one.

33. I do not believe in carpet. I simply find it unnecessary.

34. I used to think I didn’t want kids. Then, I thought I wasn’t ever going to be able to have kids. Now, I think I want several of them… someday, when I grow up.

35. I am all over a good, respectful debate, but would rather not fight. Ever.

36. Every moment I spend with myself, I find me being more and more proud of being a native Minneapolitan.

37. I’ve lost over 70 pounds and most times, I still only see the fat.

38. If I did it all over again, I’d apply to Julliard.

39. I am convinced that there are no coincidences.

40. Every morning, I wake up with a song in my head. It’s almost never the same song twice.

41. Many of the things I’m really good at – baking, sewing, crafting, writing – I started out totally sucking at.

42. I never thought being a mom would be so cool. I thought it would be this hard. But not so rewarding. I totally underestimated the good in it.

43. Sometimes I look at my family, and my friends, and the people around me, and I feel completely undeserving of how fabulously great I have it.

44. I am organized, but only in fits and starts. I get spurts of organization, a few times per year, and then I generally erode away the organizational system until I cannot stand the chaos any longer and reorganize.

45. I can totally tie a cherry stem in a knot with just my tongue.

46. I get along better with men than women.

47. I’d never wash a dish again, if I had the option.

48. But I like the repetition of folding laundry.

49. I give older people way less credit than I should. They have a ton of wisdom, especially about people and relationships, and are much stronger than I think they are.

50. Part of me still wants to get my nose pierced and come to work with blue hair.

51. My deepest longing is for my mom and dad to be friends.

52. I worry way too much.

53. This summer, I learned how to be friends with myself. I’m still perfecting how to be alone. But it’s coming along nicely.

54. I have a hard time with regret. Because generally, I do not regret. And I have a hard time understanding people who wallow in the whatifs of life.

55. I adore driving fast.

56. Good writing turns me on.

57. Good songwriting, strong drums and hard guitar is just about the most sensual thing I can think of.

58. My upstairs neighbor is a real big jerk.

59. I hate it when women over-perfume to go out. It’s a) really rude; not everyone likes your perfume, and b) it gives the rest of us a bad name. Not all women are obsessed with smelling like the inside of a Bloomingdale’s cosmetics garbage can.

60. I get tired at about 2:30 every day. It’s the worst time of the day to have a meeting.

61. One of my new year’s resolutions in 2007 will be to learn how to relax.

62. I’m a tiny bit frightened of what I’ll do once I graduate from my master’s program.

63. A couple of years ago, I wrote up my guiding competencies, which are the principles I try to live by. I look at them every single day and I measure myself against them as often as I can.

64. The worst insult anyone can throw at me is to insult my intelligence.

65. I miss my garden.

66. I wonder about old friends sometimes. And then I wonder if they wonder about me.

67. I get sad every January, right after my birthday, until the crocuses peek out sometime in March.

68. I loved shopping for school supplies every fall as a kid.

69. I always wanted a brother.

70. I love vintage things – clothes, furniture, housing, art, music… it’s all good.

71. I’m an indie-yuppie. And I’m not ashamed.

72. As soon as I can, I’m getting another dog.

73. I consider myself an early blog-adopter. But this blog still doesn’t have a theme. Or much readership.

74. My grandpa had a zit on his face when he died. I think I inherited his skin.

75. I think diamond rings are gross. I would never, ever want to own one.

76. More often than not, when I think about my life, I feel like a 19-year-old trapped in my body, going, “What? Wait. When the hell did this all happen? Where was I?”

77. I’m not sure hell isn’t empty.

78. No one gets to steal my energy anymore.

79. Bedtime with Paige is my favorite time of the day.

80. I miss going to a church home, and I am looking forward to finding one again.

81. I do not think I will ever move outside a major city. Ever.

82. Once, I scared off the cops because I had underwear in my jacket pocket.

83. I love to write poetry under the big trees in an old cemetery.

84. I think rivers are one of nature’s most powerful metaphors.

85. I still believe in Santa Claus.

86. I think love is the answer to most problems.

87. If love doesn’t cure it, then I’m pretty sure bacon or brownies will.

88. I used to think I did best under pressure. But I’m sorta getting tired of that life already.

89. I love admiring the diversity in people.

90. I am procrastinating on finishing my thesis.

91. I have no idea what I will do when I lose my grandparents.

92. I used to have nightmares of the Incredible Hulk when I was little. I still won’t watch that movie.

93. I’ve had a tiny-little crush on a kid from high school for at least the last 10 years.

94. I don’t find anything redeeming about Detroit. I have tried, but I come up empty every time.

95. I totally love it when you get out your winter and/or spring coat and find either ticket stubs or money in the pockets.

96. When I’m really lost and directionless, I sometimes ask my Grandpa Randy (who has been dead since my dad was an infant) for guidance.

97. I still listen to the safety directions every time I get on a plane.

98. I wonder what my friends in Ireland are doing right now.

99. Often, I wonder if I’m a good enough friend.

100. I love the inherent wisdom in the journals I kept from my teenage years. They are so perfectly raw and unbridled and burdened with emotion but not yet responsibility. It’s beautiful.