your basic midweek rant

I'm going to preface myself here: I am so very happy right now. I really, truly am. There is a good deal in my life to be thankful for (as aforementioned).

But a couple of things are rattling around in my brain this afternoon, and I want to get them out. Then, I promise I'll return you to your regularly scheduled happy Sarah.

1) I do not like being verbally abused over the phone. Especially at work. Especially when the abuser in question insults my intelligence. I am smart and capable and do good work. I don't like being told I am too stupid to do my own job. Because I'm not. Stop saying these things. They make me angry and hurt my feelings and generally suck my will to live.
2) I just can't deal with the conflict-avoidant. I don't want to fight. Really. REALLY. But for heaven's sake. If something is amiss, just say something. And do it right away, so it doesn't fester. (caveat: I have done the ignore it, it'll go away thing... it ends in ugly. so I don't do it anymore. I just don't like it when it's not my place to say something's rotten in the state of Denmark, but the person who ought to say something doesnt. Grr.)
3) Sometimes I open my mouth, and stupid stuff comes out. I hate that. I have to figure out how to not process all my thoughts out loud.
4) It is too early in the fall/winter season to be so bloody cold. I am a bit distressed.
5) I had to give myself a reality check this morning. Everything is always changing. I had a moment of, why can't it all just be the way I think it should be?, mid-morning. But that's silly, really. Change is what makes the world interesting; I like change, I want change and growth and different things. I do this constant tug-of-war with change; it's not quite love-hate, but more this equilibrium where one end is resisting change (human nature, we all do it)... and the other end is being the catalyst for change, and somewhere in the middle, where I needed to get back to, is a place of just being at peace with change, that place of faith that all is as it was meant to be.

Ah. That feels better. The balance returns. You may now resume your normally scheduled happy.