toasts only 2 people in the world are gonna understand

Let us drink to:

• A year of being on the SBC-free wagon
• Mold-free nether regions
• Being a transformer (more than meets the eye)
• Vodka-lemonade
• Being a member of the Mervyn's Alumni Gold Club
• A satisfying, bullshit-free sex life
• Target "slutty" Friday
• Not being an oompa-loompa
• Ineloquence when trashed
• A teeny-tiny spoon duel
• Deee-lite, baby
• Growth
• Not calling Wisconsin or Nebraska home