the continuing adventures of hairspray diva and germophobe lass

you may or may not know this, but I have a growing hatred for public restrooms.

I'm not safe, even at work.

Let me begin by explaining that I work on the 6th floor of a 9-floor office building.  There is 1 ladies' room per floor, and most of the time, when I venture over there, it's not just for the sake of taking a walk -- I need to use the ladies' room.  However, I am growing increasingly irritated by two other women on my floor who frequent the ladies' room.

First, and perhaps foremost, is the hairspray diva.  This fine specimen still rats her bangs with aquanet.  In the ladies' room at work.  At least twice a day.  If I have to go, and she's in there, I can almost guarantee that I'll walk out of there with a CFC high.  Yuck.  Oh, and she obsesses about brushing her teeth and smelling good, because she's always squirting Jovan White Musk on herself and everything else in the bathroom.  And she brushes her teeth for like 10 minutes at a time in there.  Please, I mean, does anyone like to be assaulted with a stranger's bathroom routine?  N-O.

So, yesterday, I was harassed by yet another specimen, Germophobe Lass.  She confronted me after I washed my hands with hot water and soap, by saying: " you realize that you are just spreading germs all over the company by turning off the faucet with your bare hands, don't you?  You should really use a towel."
OK, so my question is: a) what business is it of hers?  What is she, the germ police?  b) my hands are clean.  As are everyone else's who washes their hands and then turns off the faucet.  c) I don't care about the germs.  Really, I don't.  I touch baby poop every day.  I clean up dog puke on a regular basis.  I pet my cat every day.  My clean hands at work are the LEAST of my concerns.    I sorta wanted to explain that to her, but instead I just smiled and walked out.

Actually, what I really wanted to do was lick the door handle and then see how she managed to get OUT of the bathroom, but that, my friends, would have been cruel.