You know that you've settled into your new job when...
You zone our your entire commute through exoburbia, not noticing a single landmark.
Then, as you turn into your place of employment, you realize that your brain spent the last 10 minutes in a different dimension than your body. And it dawns on you that this route to work has been novel for the past 4 months but suddenly is just one more habit.
28.3.06
27.3.06
the negotiator
Have I mentioned lately that I'm pretty sure my charming, delightful daughter is so going to be a diplomat or lawyer when she grows up?
OK... she's not quite 3, so maybe it's a little early to start making predictions of this nature (at 4, I wanted to be the first artist in space... don't you think modern art from the moon would just sell like hotcakes?). That being said, let me explain her aptitudes and skills at this ripe age:
1) Generally speaking (and I'm doing my best to not say this from a "she's my kid and I'm inherently biased" position), she's a charming little ham. I cannot remember the last time we went to the store when I didn't get some comment about, "well, isn't she smart as a whip/cute as a button/a little pistol/adorable/some variation thereof".
2) She has no natural fear of others. Perhaps this is because we tried very hard to help her be comfortable in a variety of social settings from infancy onward... so in retrospect, I may indeed have created a monster. But she is completely comfortable going up to a stranger, or the police officer who pulled me over Friday night, and saying, "This is my mommy. Her name's Sarah. You be nice to my mommy."
3) The child has a memory like a bear trap. I (feebly) attempted to bribe her to take a nap yesterday with the promise of the park afterward. Shouldn't the nap erase that memory? Nuh-uh. She held me to it like it was a biblical covenant.
4) She has the uncanny ability to negotiate by simply throwing the rules of logic out the window and being terrifically persistent. For instance, right now Paige gets a dum-dum sucker everytime she USES (not just attempts) the potty (yes, my life has been reduced to the lowest-common-denominator). Yesterday afternoon, she attempted to reason with me that IF she got the dum-dum sucker first, she would FOR SURE use the big girl potty. And persisted along this line of argument for about 20 minutes (which is more than the attention span she has for most cartoons.)
My greatest acheivement -- and the thing I will probably look back and beat my head on the wall for when she's 14 -- is raising an independent thinker who relentlessly pursues her goals.
On the bright side, only 15 more years til college... (at which time I'll just be crossing my fingers and worrying).
OK... she's not quite 3, so maybe it's a little early to start making predictions of this nature (at 4, I wanted to be the first artist in space... don't you think modern art from the moon would just sell like hotcakes?). That being said, let me explain her aptitudes and skills at this ripe age:
1) Generally speaking (and I'm doing my best to not say this from a "she's my kid and I'm inherently biased" position), she's a charming little ham. I cannot remember the last time we went to the store when I didn't get some comment about, "well, isn't she smart as a whip/cute as a button/a little pistol/adorable/some variation thereof".
2) She has no natural fear of others. Perhaps this is because we tried very hard to help her be comfortable in a variety of social settings from infancy onward... so in retrospect, I may indeed have created a monster. But she is completely comfortable going up to a stranger, or the police officer who pulled me over Friday night, and saying, "This is my mommy. Her name's Sarah. You be nice to my mommy."
3) The child has a memory like a bear trap. I (feebly) attempted to bribe her to take a nap yesterday with the promise of the park afterward. Shouldn't the nap erase that memory? Nuh-uh. She held me to it like it was a biblical covenant.
4) She has the uncanny ability to negotiate by simply throwing the rules of logic out the window and being terrifically persistent. For instance, right now Paige gets a dum-dum sucker everytime she USES (not just attempts) the potty (yes, my life has been reduced to the lowest-common-denominator). Yesterday afternoon, she attempted to reason with me that IF she got the dum-dum sucker first, she would FOR SURE use the big girl potty. And persisted along this line of argument for about 20 minutes (which is more than the attention span she has for most cartoons.)
My greatest acheivement -- and the thing I will probably look back and beat my head on the wall for when she's 14 -- is raising an independent thinker who relentlessly pursues her goals.
On the bright side, only 15 more years til college... (at which time I'll just be crossing my fingers and worrying).
21.3.06
Crocus
I defied this year's wintry March and took a run for lunch today.
It was amazing -- I have more running stamina than I thought, getting to the gym this winter definitely helped that. I tfor about 2 miles total -- something I wasn't even physically able to do a year and a half ago, even if it took me about 45 minutes to do it.
Only downside: I biffed on the ice and have a total "I fell off my bike" scrape on my right knee (which is why I don't go out in the winter). But I'm sick of not being able to enjoy being outside... so I'll suck it up.
And, on my way out of the yard, I noticed that I have 2 crocuses poking up in the south garden. Even though there's probably still 4-6 inches of snow in the yard. I am totally relating to their defiant cry as they fight their way through snow and sub-freezing temps. For the love of God, it's spring! Let's get on with the melt already!
a little puzzle about womanhood
So we recently did the annual "whoo-hoo, we're Irish" all-day pilgrimage to The Local. Beer, fish and chips, more beer... it's all good.
Except that I ran into the most perplexing display in the ladies' room. Like last year, the line for the women's restroom during the evening hours was inexplicably long. And, frankly, irritating when you've been consuming malt liquor all evening. So I FINALLY get in there and frantically do my thing... and I come out to wash my hands to see these two women, obviously eeking past what you would call middle-life, and even more obviously siliconed, botoxed, lifted, nipped and tucked to the nines. Whatever -- it takes all kinds.
But still -- while I wouldn't necessarily cosmetically augment myself til I was more chemical than organic parts -- there was more wrong with the situation then a silicone butt and permasmile.
1) These women were dressed as if they were underage. Like... things I would only see in the halls of a high school. They looked like idiots. Even if they were "I-had-my-stomach-stapled-even-though-there-was-no-medical-reason" skinny.
2) They were blocking the sinks where the rest of us, focused on peeing, then getting back to drinking, were attempting (feebly) to navigate around them so we could practice basic hygeine. And they didn't seem to notice they were in the way. Or singlehandedly testing everyone's bladder strength.
3) These women weren't even WASHING... they were trying to (in a very drunk manner, might I add) put on each other's lipliner. Now, I do OWN 1 lipliner... I wear it when I know I'm going to have my photo taken, or when I'm going for a job interview... and I wore it when I got married. But for St. Patrick's Day? It's going to come off about 4.3 seconds after you put your lips to your drink. And honestly -- the entire bar was too drunk to notice whether or not you are wearing LIP LINER. Give me, and the rest of womankind, a break.
4) Finally... these women were so drunk, so out of it, that they weren't even putting on their unnecessary lipliner in an orderly fashion. They both walked out of the ladies' room (finally) looking strangely like the Joker from a late 80s Batman flick.
Which, honestly... was some sort of strange poetic justice.
Except that I ran into the most perplexing display in the ladies' room. Like last year, the line for the women's restroom during the evening hours was inexplicably long. And, frankly, irritating when you've been consuming malt liquor all evening. So I FINALLY get in there and frantically do my thing... and I come out to wash my hands to see these two women, obviously eeking past what you would call middle-life, and even more obviously siliconed, botoxed, lifted, nipped and tucked to the nines. Whatever -- it takes all kinds.
But still -- while I wouldn't necessarily cosmetically augment myself til I was more chemical than organic parts -- there was more wrong with the situation then a silicone butt and permasmile.
1) These women were dressed as if they were underage. Like... things I would only see in the halls of a high school. They looked like idiots. Even if they were "I-had-my-stomach-stapled-even-though-there-was-no-medical-reason" skinny.
2) They were blocking the sinks where the rest of us, focused on peeing, then getting back to drinking, were attempting (feebly) to navigate around them so we could practice basic hygeine. And they didn't seem to notice they were in the way. Or singlehandedly testing everyone's bladder strength.
3) These women weren't even WASHING... they were trying to (in a very drunk manner, might I add) put on each other's lipliner. Now, I do OWN 1 lipliner... I wear it when I know I'm going to have my photo taken, or when I'm going for a job interview... and I wore it when I got married. But for St. Patrick's Day? It's going to come off about 4.3 seconds after you put your lips to your drink. And honestly -- the entire bar was too drunk to notice whether or not you are wearing LIP LINER. Give me, and the rest of womankind, a break.
4) Finally... these women were so drunk, so out of it, that they weren't even putting on their unnecessary lipliner in an orderly fashion. They both walked out of the ladies' room (finally) looking strangely like the Joker from a late 80s Batman flick.
Which, honestly... was some sort of strange poetic justice.
13.3.06
urban wanderlust
there's something enchanting me
in each brick I pass
in this close proximity
in a place close enough to feel familiarly like home
and far enough away to allow a lifetime of discovery.
my soul knows
that any city is home
as long as there are lights
and theaters
and millions of people
who frequent the tiny corner restaraunts.
so I am comforted
by the sounds my heels make as they plod along pavement, syncopating idling engines, rhythmic in accompaniment to the melodic hum cities make.
and there is contentment in the bubbling conversation of passers-by, in each nameless face that walks past me on the street.
Home is where the people are
at least for me.
in each brick I pass
in this close proximity
in a place close enough to feel familiarly like home
and far enough away to allow a lifetime of discovery.
my soul knows
that any city is home
as long as there are lights
and theaters
and millions of people
who frequent the tiny corner restaraunts.
so I am comforted
by the sounds my heels make as they plod along pavement, syncopating idling engines, rhythmic in accompaniment to the melodic hum cities make.
and there is contentment in the bubbling conversation of passers-by, in each nameless face that walks past me on the street.
Home is where the people are
at least for me.
6.3.06
four of...
Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Consultant, Carlson Companies, Plymouth
2. Instructional Designer, Metris, Minnetonka
3. Employment Specialist, JVS, Minneapolis
4. Training/Web Development Specialist, Target, Minneapolis
Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. White Christmas
2. Shrek
3. The Sound of Music
4. Braveheart
Four places you have lived:
1. Robbinsdale MN
2. Elbow Lake MN
3. Columbia Heights MN
4. St Paul MN
Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. CSI (any of them)
2. Really…everything else I watch is 3-year-old centric…
3.
4.
Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Chicago
2. New York City
3. Oregon Coast
4. Florida
Four websites I visit daily:
1. gmail
2. bloglines
3. work intranet
4. blogger
Four of my favorite foods:
1. crab legs
2. asparagus
3. A salad I didn’t have to prepare
4. Propel water
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. New York
2. St. Lucia
3. The cabin in mid-July
4. Backpacking through Europe
1. Consultant, Carlson Companies, Plymouth
2. Instructional Designer, Metris, Minnetonka
3. Employment Specialist, JVS, Minneapolis
4. Training/Web Development Specialist, Target, Minneapolis
Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. White Christmas
2. Shrek
3. The Sound of Music
4. Braveheart
Four places you have lived:
1. Robbinsdale MN
2. Elbow Lake MN
3. Columbia Heights MN
4. St Paul MN
Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. CSI (any of them)
2. Really…everything else I watch is 3-year-old centric…
3.
4.
Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Chicago
2. New York City
3. Oregon Coast
4. Florida
Four websites I visit daily:
1. gmail
2. bloglines
3. work intranet
4. blogger
Four of my favorite foods:
1. crab legs
2. asparagus
3. A salad I didn’t have to prepare
4. Propel water
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. New York
2. St. Lucia
3. The cabin in mid-July
4. Backpacking through Europe
2.3.06
In Like a Lamb
It's March 2nd.
And I think I'm in heaven.
Let me tell you how my life changes when I get my first whiff of spring:
And I think I'm in heaven.
Let me tell you how my life changes when I get my first whiff of spring:
- The sun rises at a reasonable hour. I do my best pre-10AM and post-8PM. This morning, it was light (which means, I was awake) at 6:30AM. Just a few more days, and I'll be able to rise with the sun and start jogging again (an activity I adore -- it's my own personal meditation space -- but I refuse to go out in a bitterly cold, pitch-black morning.)
- I'm all itchy to be outside. After getting a client deliverable out the door early this week (putting in some long hours Monday and Tuesday), I rewarded myself with a long lunch toay. Me, the iPod and my legs went on our official 1st jog of the season. It was an hour of pure bliss (although, I can already tell my legs aren't going to be saying that in the morning. The price I pay for letting my muscles atrophy all winter, I guess.)
- I cannot seem to stop thinking about my garden. I planned the whole lot last night. I ordered my seeds this morning. I want to get my hands dirty, I want to turn spades of loamy earth and watch intently as the seedlings I nursed from seeds germinated in the sunroom take root and stretch their green limbs skyward.
- I start planning vacations, birthday parties, and a new wardrobe. And let's not forget Easter. I have so much sewing (Easter dresses) and scrapbooking (Paige's 3rd birthday party) and... yay.
I feel re-born every spring, every time I watch my little corner of the earth renew itself. I relish the hints of warmth in the air, I luxuriate in the cool shadows and warming sunbeams. I wait and anticipate and watch intently as the world around me throws off its blanket of snow and wakes from winter's drowsy spell.
24.2.06
my tiny little opinion on Wal-Mart
Wal-mart at least feigns to do right by their employees and loosen health care restrictions.
Part of me is happy.
Another part of me is enormously suspicious...
Part of me is happy.
Another part of me is enormously suspicious...
21.2.06
My very own Johari window
Arena(known to self and others) bold, intelligent, spontaneous | Blind Spot(known only to others) accepting, complex, dependable, friendly, helpful, independent, knowledgeable, loving, mature, patient, reflective, responsive, searching, self-assertive, sympathetic, trustworthy, warm, wise |
Façade(known only to self) adaptable, ingenious, witty | Unknown(known to nobody) able, brave, calm, caring, cheerful, clever, confident, dignified, energetic, extroverted, giving, happy, idealistic, introverted, kind, logical, modest, nervous, observant, organised, powerful, proud, quiet, relaxed, religious, self-conscious, sensible, sentimental, shy, silly, tense |
All Percentages
able (0%) accepting (50%) adaptable (0%) bold (33%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (0%) cheerful (0%) clever (0%) complex (50%) confident (0%) dependable (33%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (16%) giving (0%) happy (0%) helpful (16%) idealistic (0%) independent (16%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (50%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (16%) logical (0%) loving (33%) mature (16%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (0%) patient (16%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (33%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (33%) searching (16%) self-assertive (16%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (0%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (16%) sympathetic (16%) tense (0%) trustworthy (33%) warm (16%) wise (16%) witty (0%)
Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 21.2.2006, using data from 6 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view sarahgh's full data.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view sarahgh's full data.
15.2.06
Aren't there better things for our lawmakers to be doing?
On my daily lunch perusal of the Star Tribune, I came across this article which sort of makes me want to run through the corridors of our state capital head-butting certain state lawmakers.
Basically, some farm-boy dipshit from Marshall has passedthis law targeting MPR -- saying that they cannot have a particular funding grant unless they disclose the salaries of certain employees. MPR is standing their ground, saying that they already disclose salaries as IRS regulations dictate -- and shouldn't that be enough?
So, as a taxpayer and lifelong resident of this state, I have to say: what the f_ck?
1) Whether or not you like it, Mr. Republican-pants, the state gives away a LOT of money to FOR-PROFIT organizations who ridiculously overcompensate their top-level employees. Believe you me... I work in the for-profit sector in this state. People everywhere make PLENTY of money.
2) MPR doesn't rely on soullessmoney-grubbing advertisers to stay afloat; they are instead funded in large part by their membership base (myself, my husband, and several close friends included...). By the way -- those members? Citizens of the state. Don't you think we'd pipe up if we thought our money (dontations!) was going to inappropriate uses?
3) I seem to remember the state being sortof a crappy watchdog for non-profit misappropriation of taxpayer funds in the first place -- didn't some massive insurance companies just get in trouble not so long ago? Wasn't it our state's Attorney General who nailed that little conspiracy? I'm not too trusting here.
4) Has anyone compared what the for-profit radio station execs make compared to the non-profit? Just a guess, but I'd stake money and reputation that there's a wide chasm between what the head of MPR makes and what the head of Cities 97 puts in the bank.
5) Hey, has anyone asked the EMPLOYEES how they feel about having the world know their take-home pay? I'm sorry... If I wanted someone to know how much I made (profit, nonprofit, whatever...) I'd let them know. I'm pretty much an open book... but come on, there are some things that need to remain private.
Honestly: when it all boils down to it, we're bickering about less thant $400,000. Now, that IS a lot of dough, certainly more than I see in any given decade... that being said: MPR's salaries paid and $400,000... is this really the most pressing issue this numnuts from outstate has to deal with? I wonder, does the burgeoning meth problem in this state keep him up at night? How about the farmers who are starving and going bankrupt in his consituency (remember, I spent some serious hard time outstate in a previous life...)? What about the report that came out yesterday that said low-income families in our state are spending 28% of their income on childcare, on average, often sacrificing the safety of their children to cut childcare corners (due in large part to Pawlenty's 2003 childcare budget cuts)? What about the shrinking education budgets? Roads in dire need of repair? If you want to be revolutionary, then let's focus on mass transit, if you really need to get involved in what us city folk care about.
How about this, idiot: Drop your personal vendetta, go back to Marshall, ask your consituents what they are really concerned about, come back to the Capitol with a REAL agenda... and in the meantime, let MPR be. I would guess that MPR is really low on the "what we'd like to see happen at the Capitol in 2006" list of southern Minnesotan residents.
*Dismounts Soapbox*
Basically, some farm-boy dipshit from Marshall has passedthis law targeting MPR -- saying that they cannot have a particular funding grant unless they disclose the salaries of certain employees. MPR is standing their ground, saying that they already disclose salaries as IRS regulations dictate -- and shouldn't that be enough?
So, as a taxpayer and lifelong resident of this state, I have to say: what the f_ck?
1) Whether or not you like it, Mr. Republican-pants, the state gives away a LOT of money to FOR-PROFIT organizations who ridiculously overcompensate their top-level employees. Believe you me... I work in the for-profit sector in this state. People everywhere make PLENTY of money.
2) MPR doesn't rely on soullessmoney-grubbing advertisers to stay afloat; they are instead funded in large part by their membership base (myself, my husband, and several close friends included...). By the way -- those members? Citizens of the state. Don't you think we'd pipe up if we thought our money (dontations!) was going to inappropriate uses?
3) I seem to remember the state being sortof a crappy watchdog for non-profit misappropriation of taxpayer funds in the first place -- didn't some massive insurance companies just get in trouble not so long ago? Wasn't it our state's Attorney General who nailed that little conspiracy? I'm not too trusting here.
4) Has anyone compared what the for-profit radio station execs make compared to the non-profit? Just a guess, but I'd stake money and reputation that there's a wide chasm between what the head of MPR makes and what the head of Cities 97 puts in the bank.
5) Hey, has anyone asked the EMPLOYEES how they feel about having the world know their take-home pay? I'm sorry... If I wanted someone to know how much I made (profit, nonprofit, whatever...) I'd let them know. I'm pretty much an open book... but come on, there are some things that need to remain private.
Honestly: when it all boils down to it, we're bickering about less thant $400,000. Now, that IS a lot of dough, certainly more than I see in any given decade... that being said: MPR's salaries paid and $400,000... is this really the most pressing issue this numnuts from outstate has to deal with? I wonder, does the burgeoning meth problem in this state keep him up at night? How about the farmers who are starving and going bankrupt in his consituency (remember, I spent some serious hard time outstate in a previous life...)? What about the report that came out yesterday that said low-income families in our state are spending 28% of their income on childcare, on average, often sacrificing the safety of their children to cut childcare corners (due in large part to Pawlenty's 2003 childcare budget cuts)? What about the shrinking education budgets? Roads in dire need of repair? If you want to be revolutionary, then let's focus on mass transit, if you really need to get involved in what us city folk care about.
How about this, idiot: Drop your personal vendetta, go back to Marshall, ask your consituents what they are really concerned about, come back to the Capitol with a REAL agenda... and in the meantime, let MPR be. I would guess that MPR is really low on the "what we'd like to see happen at the Capitol in 2006" list of southern Minnesotan residents.
*Dismounts Soapbox*
9.2.06
redline
I don't have a ton of time to post today -- deadlines at work, unfinished homework, doctor's appointments every day this week. I just want to take this redline moment to remind myself of a few things:
1) The Garden State soundtrack can calm me down in very nearly any situation.
2) It's totally OK to eat a cheeseburger at 10:30 in the morning if you are hungry.
3) Don't ever -- EVER -- give me too much time to think, or I will inherently overthink it.
4) I have wonderful, amazing friends who are thoughtful, considerate, and love me. Yay!
5) Everyone gets crabby -- even almost-3-year-olds. And it's OK, and it passes.
6) Karma is alive and well. Glad today, I'm on the good end.
7) There's a tired even dark roast won't fix.
8) 10 minutes in the dark with a sad CD can do amazing things for your mental health.
9) I am so thankful that my job allows me to sit when I need to, flex my life when I need to, and write even when I feel stuck.
10) Eventually, I'm getting out of the country this year (yay).
1) The Garden State soundtrack can calm me down in very nearly any situation.
2) It's totally OK to eat a cheeseburger at 10:30 in the morning if you are hungry.
3) Don't ever -- EVER -- give me too much time to think, or I will inherently overthink it.
4) I have wonderful, amazing friends who are thoughtful, considerate, and love me. Yay!
5) Everyone gets crabby -- even almost-3-year-olds. And it's OK, and it passes.
6) Karma is alive and well. Glad today, I'm on the good end.
7) There's a tired even dark roast won't fix.
8) 10 minutes in the dark with a sad CD can do amazing things for your mental health.
9) I am so thankful that my job allows me to sit when I need to, flex my life when I need to, and write even when I feel stuck.
10) Eventually, I'm getting out of the country this year (yay).
7.2.06
Why I'm glad I am now an outsider in the world of retail
A recent story in the Star Tribune details how retails are suing the state of Maryland after their legistlature passed a law that would mandate large corporations (AKA Wal-mart et al) to afford health insurance coverage to their employees.
I'm sorry, but how socially irresponsible do these companies want to appear when they are suing the very governments who are attempting to look after the best interests of their constituents (and tax dollars -- those who work but aren't covered for medical insurance through their employer most often fall on taxpayers as a state or federal medicaid burden, right?) Honestly... health care is expensive. We live in America, where this stuff isn't socialized... its a part of doing (good, ethical) business... a practice in which Wal-Mart & co. is obviously not interested in engaging.
This is maddening to me in every sense of the word. At a time in my life when, in my master's program, all the articles and books I read tout how "companies who want a competitive edge need to realize that their people are their most important asset."
Why, then, does the giganto-retail industry not see that? I worked retail in varying aspects for many years. I have full knowledge and recognition that without the down-on-his luck guy with a couple of kids who pushes the carts back into the store, the immigrant woman restocking toothbrushes, and the teenagers unloading the trucks, those stores don't run. Customers get real pissed off. That spells lower profits. Now we're talking a language these corporate buffoons might understand.
This is a shameful time for me to say that I once thought I could make an impact in the retail industry -- that I could change that corporate infrastructure, could help these massive industry giants see the error of not valuing even the most miniscule contribution at the store level. But the absolute disregard of concern toward health care in the recent past is staggering to me. It absolutely blows my mind.
My only hope is that, as the 21st century rolls on the nature of our business culture ebbs out of a process economy and flows into a knowledge economy, grassroots initiatives, smart legislation, and external change agents like my peers and I can affect the kinds of change so desperately needed in the retail giant so ripe to be deflated.
I'm sorry, but how socially irresponsible do these companies want to appear when they are suing the very governments who are attempting to look after the best interests of their constituents (and tax dollars -- those who work but aren't covered for medical insurance through their employer most often fall on taxpayers as a state or federal medicaid burden, right?) Honestly... health care is expensive. We live in America, where this stuff isn't socialized... its a part of doing (good, ethical) business... a practice in which Wal-Mart & co. is obviously not interested in engaging.
This is maddening to me in every sense of the word. At a time in my life when, in my master's program, all the articles and books I read tout how "companies who want a competitive edge need to realize that their people are their most important asset."
Why, then, does the giganto-retail industry not see that? I worked retail in varying aspects for many years. I have full knowledge and recognition that without the down-on-his luck guy with a couple of kids who pushes the carts back into the store, the immigrant woman restocking toothbrushes, and the teenagers unloading the trucks, those stores don't run. Customers get real pissed off. That spells lower profits. Now we're talking a language these corporate buffoons might understand.
This is a shameful time for me to say that I once thought I could make an impact in the retail industry -- that I could change that corporate infrastructure, could help these massive industry giants see the error of not valuing even the most miniscule contribution at the store level. But the absolute disregard of concern toward health care in the recent past is staggering to me. It absolutely blows my mind.
My only hope is that, as the 21st century rolls on the nature of our business culture ebbs out of a process economy and flows into a knowledge economy, grassroots initiatives, smart legislation, and external change agents like my peers and I can affect the kinds of change so desperately needed in the retail giant so ripe to be deflated.
1.2.06
A Beautiful Insult
As I walked out of the grocer's last night, I was confronted by the most beautiful insult: after a month-long warming trend (in January, in Minneapolis...), massive, fluffy, perfect snowflakes, like spoonfuls of whipped cream with peaks coated in powdered sugar, floated to the ground at a brisk pace, chasing this historically balmy January away.
It was ridiculously beautiful as I drove home -- and I'm not one for the drive from the store to home -- but honestly! These giant snowflakes plopped themselves carelessly on my car like someone, somewhere, was making miniature snowballs and tossing them over their shoulder in hopes that it would hit something with a right good smack.
I found myself admiring the beauty in winter in spite of my impending springtime restlessness. At no other time in the year does the world become so pristine, hushed, and at equilibrium than during a late-evening snow.
It also reminded me that those perfectly round dollops of snow drifting in around my coat and scarf, dancing on my eyelashes, frosting the bare branches of the black walnut sprawling naked in the backyard -- that's the reason I just cannot live without seasons. Apologies to my daydreams of tulips, but I think I have found a little more romance in winter, in spite of myself.
It was ridiculously beautiful as I drove home -- and I'm not one for the drive from the store to home -- but honestly! These giant snowflakes plopped themselves carelessly on my car like someone, somewhere, was making miniature snowballs and tossing them over their shoulder in hopes that it would hit something with a right good smack.
I found myself admiring the beauty in winter in spite of my impending springtime restlessness. At no other time in the year does the world become so pristine, hushed, and at equilibrium than during a late-evening snow.
It also reminded me that those perfectly round dollops of snow drifting in around my coat and scarf, dancing on my eyelashes, frosting the bare branches of the black walnut sprawling naked in the backyard -- that's the reason I just cannot live without seasons. Apologies to my daydreams of tulips, but I think I have found a little more romance in winter, in spite of myself.
31.1.06
10 things I find luxurious
Paper Source
The time to paint my toenails at home, with a basecoat and topcoat
Anything bought at Lush
Berries with fresh cream
Getting my groceries bagged
The days John fills my car with gas so I don't have to
RealSimple
Cashmere-lined leather gloves on winter mornings
Crabtree & Evelyn hand cream
A new fountain pen, notebook, and set of highlighters for a new semester
The time to paint my toenails at home, with a basecoat and topcoat
Anything bought at Lush
Berries with fresh cream
Getting my groceries bagged
The days John fills my car with gas so I don't have to
RealSimple
Cashmere-lined leather gloves on winter mornings
Crabtree & Evelyn hand cream
A new fountain pen, notebook, and set of highlighters for a new semester
19.1.06
Honored, Humbled, Horrified
Last night when I was working out, I was asked join a weight-loss class offered by my gym next Wednesday, to share the story of my health journey -- my secrets to eating right, working out, and losing 48 pounds.
ME!
Completely humbled, I accepted. I am absolutely honored to think that I am an inspiration to any other woman embroiled in the struggle with her own body. Yet as I noodled this, a sense of horror crept through me. 1) I'm not "there". I have 39 pounds left to go to get to MY goal (and not even the goal the doctor would probably set for me.) 2) I'm horrified that there are so many facets to this problem for women:
ME!
Completely humbled, I accepted. I am absolutely honored to think that I am an inspiration to any other woman embroiled in the struggle with her own body. Yet as I noodled this, a sense of horror crept through me. 1) I'm not "there". I have 39 pounds left to go to get to MY goal (and not even the goal the doctor would probably set for me.) 2) I'm horrified that there are so many facets to this problem for women:
- advertising images
- the celebrity standards to which we hold ourselves
- the female competitive factor
- the barbie mentality
- the physical characterstics of being a woman (especially if you are a woman who has children)
That environment makes a mental model of a healthy woman nearly impossible to conceive. The BMI and recommended weight ranges doctors tout don't make sense. I have just lost 48 pounds, and according to the CDC, I am still OBSESE. I should weigh between 107-145 pounds for my height. Broad as it may be, the last time I fell within that range, I was still trying to figure out the combination to my 6th grade locker.
Fact: women are built really differently.
Consider this: When I carried 30 more pounds on my body, I wore the same size as 2 friends who were 15 and 35 pounds lighter than me, and 3 and 6 inches taller than me, respectively. 48 pounds later, I now am a comparative weight to one of those friends, and again, wear 2-3 sizes smaller.
So... that means I am a heavy freak of nature? I'm incredibly tone? Those broad-boned Scottish genes have doomed me to not ever, ever fit into the "ideal" weight range chart?
All that anecdotal evidence for this point: for me, losing weight, eating right, exercising... none of it is about being the next Nicole Kidman. None of it is about getting to be a size 4 (by the way, I went from a size 16 girls in the 4th grade to a size 6 misses in the 5th grade, and I really don't anticipate ever looking like an elementary-school pubescent girl again...). What this journey is about, is making peace with this body, about loving me enough as a size 14, a size 12, whatever I end up being, to take care of myself by eating right and exercising and etc. -- and about being healthy and happy and giving this home for my soul a chance at longevity.
So I think this is what I need to tell the women of Curves next week: you can do this... it is an amazing journey to a part of yourself you never thought existed.
But do it for the right reasons: because you love yourself enough to be true to the amazing, beautiful, uniquely perfect woman who lives inside you... whether she's a size 14 or a 4.
no better birthday present
some may know this, and some may not -- but I have spent the better part of the last 6 months embroiled in a world of discovery about my own body. With the diagnosis of a metabolic disorder that links to very nearly every other health problem I have encountered, I have been piecing together how this body I live in works, what makes it tick, what it likes, doesn't like, etc. It's been an amazing journey; I was just thinking last night how bizarre it is to be 27 years old and just now discovering the physical place where my mind and soul reside.
Part of this discovery have been about discovering health: eating the right kinds of foods, making peace with my body shape, discovering the joy in exercise, finding who I am as a healthy person (now that my blood sugar and metabolism have been brought within normal levels of human functioning, this is a much easier journey...)
The birthday present on my scale this morning was the best I could ever ask for. It was a weight I hadn't seen since my freshman year in college. I put on pants today that I haven't been able to wear since I was 18 years old -- 9 years ago.
I'm not there yet... I have 39 more pounds to go. But leaving 48 pounds in my 26th year, and looking forward to a future that is at peace with a healthy, regulated, cared-for body... there is no better birthday present.
Part of this discovery have been about discovering health: eating the right kinds of foods, making peace with my body shape, discovering the joy in exercise, finding who I am as a healthy person (now that my blood sugar and metabolism have been brought within normal levels of human functioning, this is a much easier journey...)
The birthday present on my scale this morning was the best I could ever ask for. It was a weight I hadn't seen since my freshman year in college. I put on pants today that I haven't been able to wear since I was 18 years old -- 9 years ago.
I'm not there yet... I have 39 more pounds to go. But leaving 48 pounds in my 26th year, and looking forward to a future that is at peace with a healthy, regulated, cared-for body... there is no better birthday present.
16.1.06
reasons I might be done with winter
1) I'm feeling a little edgy about the weather. "Why is it so cold every morning?..." even though it's 30 degrees all day long and it hasn't snowed in weeks and we haven't seen sub-zero since early December, and I haven't even had to scrape frost off my car in well over a week.
2) The melting snow in the backyard has inched away from the house enough to reveal some dormant grass and garden. and I sooo want to be out there planting stuff right now.
3) I started thinking about my flip-flops when I went to the spa this weekend and saw women getting pedicures. Now I cannot stop thinking about sandals.
4) We have this atrium thing at my office, where there is a hug skylight and plants and people go out there to meet or talk on their cell phones or whatever (it's a great little place). Anyway, the plant guy was out there watering the plants, and the gentle rushing of the water over the broadleaf plants made me want to look up airline fares to Florida.
5) Barbara told me that she got some thorough cleaning done this weekend. So I started a spreadsheet of what I want to do when I can spring clean.
2) The melting snow in the backyard has inched away from the house enough to reveal some dormant grass and garden. and I sooo want to be out there planting stuff right now.
3) I started thinking about my flip-flops when I went to the spa this weekend and saw women getting pedicures. Now I cannot stop thinking about sandals.
4) We have this atrium thing at my office, where there is a hug skylight and plants and people go out there to meet or talk on their cell phones or whatever (it's a great little place). Anyway, the plant guy was out there watering the plants, and the gentle rushing of the water over the broadleaf plants made me want to look up airline fares to Florida.
5) Barbara told me that she got some thorough cleaning done this weekend. So I started a spreadsheet of what I want to do when I can spring clean.
We still seek social justice
Segregation is the adultery of an illicit intercourse between injustice and immorality.
Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 - 1968)
Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 - 1968)
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