Why we don't use Google as a crystal ball

From a recent post on a friend's mySpace:

"Find out how you end your life, the Google way. Go to Google, type "(your name) was killed by" and see what the end of life holds in store for you. Remember to use the quotations marks, else it won’t work."

The options if you are me:

Sarah was killed by a drunk driver (I knew there was a reason John wanted me home before last call...)

Sarah was killed by a hit-and-run accident on the day that she was supposed to re-marry Bo (wait, when did I marry Bo the first time?)

Sarah was killed by a train in Japan at the age of 23 (hrm... that makes my 27th birthday celebration at the end of the month less meaningful, doesn't it...)

Sarah was killed by a traumatic head injury (from repeatedly beating my head against the wall in a vain attempt to understand this modern democracy, no doubt.)

Sarah was killed by Indians, July 18, 1692 (ouch.)

Sarah was killed by “friendly fire” in a cafeteria shoot out (the real question is, was is the canned peas or the heavy-syrup peaches that did me in?)

Sarah was killed by train in Boston (mommy.)

Sarah was killed by the Germans during the September 1941 mass shooting action in Eisiskes (and they said the Holocaust never happened...)

Sarah was killed by a steetcar in Santa Anna, California where she was living with her son, Arthur Tucker Young in August3, 1926 (lordy. I must have been hitting the whiskey when I named my son THAT...)

Sarah was killed by another redhead member, Jezebel (this is my personal favorite)

Sarah was killed by a terror organization (blah blah blah, homeland security... first you confiscate my plastic knitting needles and now this...)

Sarah was killed by the kick of a horse (How hard does the horse kick you, and where, before it kills you?)

Sarah was killed by her brother Benjamin (but I don't HAVE a brother...)

Sarah was killed by the very man that killed her sister (that BASTARD!)

Sarah was killed by his cousin, who committed suicide shortly after the crime (serves him right)

Sarah was killed by bushwhackers (#2 on the list, because it says bushwhackers)

Sarah was killed by a convicted pedophile (I told you we needed to move to a safer neighborhood, honey...)

Sarah was killed by a trolley in 1900 (again, someone explain to me the logistics of trolley-slaughter)

Sarah was killed by her father in April 2000 (my God, my whole family is out to get me!)

Sarah was killed by one of the most annoying and stupid Vampires I've ever seen (giggle)

Sarah was killed by her own MOMMY dearest! (Told you so.)

Sarah was killed by a speeding driver who attempted to run a light (Jerk!)

Sarah was killed by electrocution (I threw caution to the wind, ignored the warning label, and blow-dried my hair in the bathtub)

Sarah was killed by her male relatives for loving Rebecka (Good grief! I should have run away from home... my mom, my dad, my brother, his cousin, my male relatives...)

Sarah was killed by the Marauder named Mercury (Not sure what that means, but nice alliteration)